The thing is, she is a public figure still, just not a political one. She published a best-selling memoir, then a self-help book, and now a workbook. She and the former president founded the Obama Foundation, yes, but also Higher Ground media, which produced, among other projects, the Netflix show Waffles + Mochi and a podcast about Stevie Wonder. Here she is advocating to end child marriage alongside Melinda French Gates and Amal Clooney.
The potential good of any of these ventures, from improving the world to just providing entertainment, would only be hurt by her having any association with Trump, whether that association were to be too close or too antagonistic. Her not attending the same events as him does speak volumes, but only generates about a day’s worth of press. It’s hard to make hay of someone not going someplace.
There’s an argument to be made that as a high-profile person with a huge platform who is closely associated with her husband’s politics, she really ought to be part of the conversation. But in stumping for Vice President Kamala Harris, she did that as best she could. She didn’t abandon the Democratic Party, but let’s face it, they’ll clearly need something other, or something more, than her assistance to get things done.
Of course, it’s possible that she’s absent from these events for other reasons. But we know better than to speculate. This time last year the internet was buzzing with theories about the “disappearance” of Kate Middleton, none of which turned out to be correct. (The princess is, thankfully, now in remission from the cancer that kept her away from public life.)
We also have to consider her not just as a person in the political world but as a celebrity, with all that entails. Specifically, being scrutinized when in public. Remember the time she briefly hugged George W. Bush? What’s the upside, for anyone, to getting a picture of her and Trump at this juncture?
At Carter’s funeral, her husband and Trump shared a brief, friendly exchange, and soon enough their were lip readers translating what they said and criticism of President Obama—then Trump himself shared a doctored version of the footage in which the two men trash talk Vice President Harris. (Please don’t get me started on “body language experts.” Body language analysis is not an exact science. In fact, it’s not science at all.)
I can imagine that Michelle Obama wants no part of that circus, so she simply didn’t buy a ticket. These are the boundaries we’re setting in 2025, this is the dignified refusal we model when we are asked to share space with a man who has bragged about assaulting women and so much more. Close the addictive app, step away from the ill-advised drunk dial, shut the door on what doesn’t serve you, and don’t give your time to what doesn’t deserve it.
